REVISED CHRISTIAN TEN COMMANDMENTS
(submitted by reader Tom Nelson, 3/16/02)
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The following was submitted to the Ethical Atheist after the person had visited a particularly decadent Church.  We had also just finished a discussion with another reader who was practically assaulted for money at a jewelry party to "help her do the Lord's work and fight Satan".  Isn't it a "sin" that Churches are usually the most elaborate, expensive buildings in a neighborhood?  Why should the congregation give up so much of their hard earned money to fund these decadent places?  If God is all powerful, why does he need so much money?!

The Revised ("Money-Hungry") 
Christian Ten Commandments
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  • I am a Capitalist by God.... Thou shalt have no other profits except from me.

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  • Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images other than the almighty dollar.... Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them.

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  • Thou shalt not take the name of the currency of thy God in vain.

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  • Remember the sabbath day, because the banks are closed.

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  • Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's house if thereth be no covenants.
  • Thou shalt not kill other Christians.  Only heathens, infidels, atheists, agnostics, evolutionists...

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  • Thou shalt not commit adultery with a non-Christian.

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  • Thou shalt not steal from other Christians.

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  • Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor unless heeth be an infidel.

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  • Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long.  But not long enough so you have to support them in a home other than your own.
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