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(In raising children guide) |
Atheist parents often struggle with raising children. It's one thing to be an atheist yourself and be completely comfortable with that. And, atheists usually get married to other atheists, agnostics or others with varying degrees of doubt. As adults, spouses can even respectfully disagree with each other's views on religion and God. However, this often becomes a source of conflict when children enter the equation. Now, you're responsible for shaping a new individual. How will you do it? If you think this is an easy question to answer, you don't have children. Atheist parents know the issues that arise and the questions that your child will ask that never occurred to you before having children. We'll present these as some fictional parents raise "Little Johnny".
How Will You Raise Your Children? The views...
1. "We'll teach our children to question everything and let them find their own views."The Bible-Thumping Relative
2. "We'll expose our children to religion, take them to a church and let them decide."
3. "We'll teach our children what we believe (atheism), just as with any topic in life."
Your Aunt Claire is a born-again creationist. You never spoke much about religion because she kind of has an idea you don't believe in God. She let you have your beliefs and didn't pressure you. You really like Aunt Claire and she has always been a friend to everyone. You are very close and want to keep it that way. Then, Little Johnny was born. Things are very different now. When you visit her, she asks you about religion. She asks if you take Johnny to Church. She gives Johnny a Children's Bible which you despise. It conveniently leaves out all the horror stories in the Bible and presents fun, happy stories with animated characters. Aunt Claire loves little Johnny and offers to watch him while you go out with others. While they're alone, she pounds religion into poor Johnny's head. She reads religious children's books to him. She asks if Mommy and Daddy take him to Church. This infuriates you. Even though you love Aunt Claire, you say to yourself, "Maybe we won't be seeing much of her from now on." But, this doesn't fly with little Johnny. He loves Aunt Claire too and wants to see her all the time.Your Religious Parents
They present all the same problems as the Bible-Thumping Relative (above). But, they are worse. They ask you, "Don't you want little Johnny to be up in heaven with the rest of the family?" They continue, "We've always let you do your own thing, but now you have someone else to think about." They may even discuss your situation with other family members and relatives. They may not all be highly religious, but you can be sure they'll have opinions on how you should raise poor Johnny. Now, you have a family feud on your hands. And, it's one thing to stay away from Aunt Claire, but now you risk alienating your entire family.Religious Media
You sometimes laugh at how religious people, the media and public figures pound religion day and night. Even the President continually brings up The Lord and ends every speech with "God Bless America". But, now your child is hearing all this. And, he doesn't laugh - he listens. You have no idea how God's followers infiltrate children's books, videos and minds until you have a child. Public libraries and bookstores are filled with kid's books aimed at converting poor Johnny's mind. Have you ever heard of "Veggie Tales"? It's an innocent looking video with cute animated characters made out of vegetables. Your child picks it up and you bring it home. Your child loves it. Then, as you're casually doing something else, you hear the video in the background. You hear it pounding religion and Church on Johnny. You want to take it out and never get Veggie Tales again, but Johnny loves it! And, so do his friends and cousins. You want to pre-screen anything that comes home with Johnny, but realize you don't have time in your busy life to actually do this. This makes you angry.In God We Trust
Contrary to popular belief, this has not always been on our money (see "In God We Trust"). You're aware of the ongoing battles about this being on all of our currency. You too don't think it should be there, but you don't lose too much sleep over it. Then, one day Johnny says, "See! We should believe in God. It's right there on our money." What do you say? Now, you begin losing sleep over it and feel like joining the legal battles to have it removed.Pledge of Allegiance
Again, "Under God" hasn't always been in the Pledge. It wasn't added until 1954. Now, many schools around America recite the Pledge every day - some schools even require it! In June 1943, the Supreme Court ruled that school children could not be forced to recite it. (For more, see "Pledge of Allegiance".) That was then... this is now. Little Johnny IS required to recite the Pledge with "Under God" in it. What do you do?Don't Play With Johnny
You know that religion is a controversial issue so you tell Johnny not to talk about it with others. You understand this... Johnny doesn't. Kids talk about everything and one day another child asks Johnny which Church he attends. The other child doesn't understand why Johnny doesn't go to Church and asks his parents about it. This all occurs without you knowing, until one day Johnny comes home crying. He says that all the other kids aren't allowed to play with him because he doesn't believe in God. Johnny is heart-broken and so are you... especially when poor Johnny cries, "I don't have any friends now because you don't take me to Church!" You may think this doesn't happen. If so, you probably don't have kids. Kid's can say and do the most insensitive things, and so can parents when it comes to religion!Summary
This page is titled "An Atheist's Guide to Raising Children". It's purposely a misnomer. A "Guide" is supposed to provide answers, right? But, all we've provided are questions. The answers are up to you. (Did you expect anything more from the Ethical Atheist?)
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(In raising children guide) |
A Note on Religious Parents- It's interesting to note that religious parents of different backgrounds often struggle with how to raise children too. For example, we've seen a Catholic and Protestant couple argue, take their children separately to different churches and finally get divorced over it. Did divorce solve the problem? No. They're still bombarding their children with their own separate beliefs. In fact, they are doing so even more now.
This
page is still being revised. Upon completion it will become part
of our eBook entitled
"Raising
An Ethical Child: An Analysis of Global & Societal Issues. "
Some useful sites on atheism and skepticism:
The Young Skeptics Program - A GREAT website for everyone from toddlers to young adults, and parents to educators. Sponsored by the Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal (CSICOP), publisher of Skeptical Inquirer Magazine. The Young Skeptics Program aims to develop and foster an understanding of the world through inquiry-based learning.Atheist Kiddie Corner "Those of us who are atheist parents are aware that there are special issues which affect our children's education. Private schooling does not seem to be an option since it is religious based. Many of the public schools are devoid of the high academic and ethical standards which we wish to maintain for our children. This is not to say that there are not good public schools, just that many parents do not have access to them. The civil rights of non-religious students frequently are not observed in public schools or, the school may fear offending its religious students to the degree that it fails to discuss the role that religionists have played in history and literature. Science class may become an exercise in memorizing unrelated facts when evolution is not recognized. There seems to be little or no emphasis on logic, reasoning, philosophy, the development of critical thinking skills, or morality. The links on this page are meant to enhance the learning process, others are just for fun. There is also a forum available to discuss these educational issues at length. I hope you share your ideas on the message board so that others may benefit."