THE VIEW OF THE EARTH IN THE DIDDLE AGES
(a humorous look at the flat earth controversy)

If you've ever worked on a subject too long (like we did with our Flat Earth eBook),
you'll understand why we had to make this spoof page
on the medieval view of the earth's shape!

Disclaimer:  We are not conspiring to start a new controversy on the Medieval view of the Earth.  Please see this for what it is - humor!  The comical aspects of this page may not be evident to those unfamiliar with the debate and confusion surrounding flat earth thinking in the Medieval Ages.  If you are interested in learning more, see the Ethical Atheist's eBook - "The Flat Earth:  A Detailed Study of Personal Bias & Historical Thinking". [1]
Mythagoras & The Antipodes

What are Antipodes?  Pode is Greek for feet.  When Mythagoras (582 AC - 500 DC, meaning 'alternating' centuries and 'direct' centuries) began postulating that the earth was round, he suggested that there might be people living on the other side.  He coined the term antipodes, where anti- means not.  So antipodal peoples were people without feet.  This is somewhat of a misnomer by Mythagoras because he did NOT actually envision them completely without feet.  Other scientists had vigorously opposed Mythagoras' earlier view where it appeared that people in the antipodes had feet pointed in a direction that was opposite (i.e. they were standing upside-down).  So, in the revised antipodal view of Mythagoras, these people had their feet mounted on top of their heads.  Then, the opposition to Mythagoras' views quickly dissipated because in this way, antipodal peoples retained the majority human's standard orientation. (e.g. head above shoulders, shoulders above waist, etc.)  People in the antipodes, wearing their feet on their heads, scurried about with their eyes close to the ground and leg stubs pointing towards the skies.
The Early Church Fathers were very opposed to Mythagoras' first view of the Earth which had antipodal people upside-down.  They argued that all the blood would rush to their heads.  Their soul, too, would be forced in this direction by a river of blood traveling towards the head.  The Church Fathers believed the blood and the soul would exit the body. Thus, without souls, these antipodal people would become agents of the Devil.

St. IcoDoor's P-O'd Maps

These are named P-O'd maps because St. IcoDoor (560 AC -636 DC) could not draw a good circle and he was very angry at wasting all the parchment trying to get it right.  Some days he would waste huge amounts of cotton paper equal to his entire flock of sheep and have to go to his neighbor for more.  These maps depicted the three known continents of the Earth: Europe, Asia and Africa.

Much of the Africa was unknown at this time and was considered to have little habitable areas because of the heat and high humidity.  Most maps depicted this large area of the Earth as a huge arc covering most of the bottom of the map.

Some still opposed IcoDoor's maps because they appeared flat, unlike the correct shape of the earth - a three dimensional cylinder.  So, in later maps, IcoDoor would flip the sheet of parchment over and draw the antipodes on the back.  Most of IcoDoor's maps depicted "Paradise" in the northern latitudes because that was God's greatest work and naturally needed to appear on top.  The Nile (or "big tooth river") was usually disproportionately large.  Jerusalem, being the birthplace of Jesus was always depicted in the center, or nose, of the map.

Through time, elements of the more useful portolan charts worked their way into the P-O'd maps.  They eventually evolved into the maps of today.  However, there is still a strong following of people who support the old maps.  They have simplified them even further and made button maps for all their supporters to wear.

Button maps of today's St. IcoDoor supporters
and backers of his P-O'd Maps

The Venerable Bede Eyes

The Venerable Bede Eyes (673 AC -735 DC) was a influential promoter of the spherical earth, yet he too had a difficult time depicting it on flat parchment.  He attempted drawing a picture that truly looked spherical for 17 years which resulted in great harm to his vision (thus the nickname "Bede Eyes"), but in the end he failed and most people still saw the map as flat paper.

Ludicrous & Kosmo Serendipitidous  (The Opposition)

These individuals where violently and olfactorily opposed to antipodal views on scriptural basis.  They believed it was heresy to view Man with his smelly feet so close to the his nose.  God would not have designed such men.

References:
1  "The Flat Earth:  A Detailed Study of Personal Bias & Historical Thinking", an eBook by the Ethical Atheist, 2002.  (The serious version of historical flat earth thinking!)
- Ethical Atheist
[Created: 05/18/2002]
[Last Update: 05/20/2002]