| You
may already be familiar with Ambrose Bierce. He was an American writer
who served as a Union officer in the Civil War. He filled numerous
newspapers and magazines with hilarious jabs at religion. In 1906,
his one-liners were collected into "The Devil's Dictionary". Like
Edgar Allan Poe, he relished horror and also wrote fiction including eerie
tales from the Civil War. In 1913, he went to Mexico and followed
Pancho Villa's army where he was presumably killed in a battle. [1]
A Few Favorites
From The Devil's Dictionary
| PRAY,
v. |
To
ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner
confessedly unworthy. |
| RACK,
n. |
An
argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a
false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted
the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular
esteem. |
| FAITH,
n. |
Belief
without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of
things without parallel. |
| HEATHEN,
n. |
A
benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see
and feel. |
| SAINT,
n. |
A
dead sinner revised and edited. |
| MYTHOLOGY,
n. |
The
body of a primitive people's beliefs concerning its origin, early history,
heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which
it invents later. |
| INFIDEL,
n. |
In
New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople,
one who does. (See GIAOUR.) A kind of scoundrel imperfectly
reverent of, and niggardly contributory to, divines, ecclesiastics, popes,
parsons, canons, monks, mollahs, voodoos, presbyters, hierophants, prelates,
obeah-men, abbes, nuns, missionaries, exhorters, deacons, friars, hadjis,
high-priests, muezzins, brahmins, medicine-men, confessors, eminences,
elders, primates, prebendaries, pilgrims, prophets, imaums, beneficiaries,
clerks, vicars-choral, archbishops, bishops, abbots, priors, preachers,
padres, abbotesses, caloyers, palmers, curates, patriarchs, bonezs, santons,
beadsmen, canonesses, residentiaries, diocesans, deans, subdeans, rural
deans, abdals, charm-sellers, archdeacons, hierarchs, class-leaders, incumbents,
capitulars, sheiks, talapoins, postulants, scribes, gooroos, precentors,
beadles, fakeers, sextons, reverences, revivalists, cenobites, perpetual
curates, chaplains, mudjoes, readers, novices, vicars, pastors, rabbis,
ulemas, lamas, sacristans, vergers, dervises, lectors, church wardens,
cardinals, prioresses, suffragans, acolytes, rectors, cures, sophis, mutifs
and pumpums. |
| KORAN,
n. |
A
book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine
inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory
to the Holy Scriptures. |
| SCRIPTURES,
n. |
The
sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and
profane writings on which all other faiths are based. |
Did
you enjoy these? The full Devil's Dictionary may
be
found at http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils.
References:
12000
Years of Disbelief : Famous People With the Courage to Doubt, by
James A. Haught (June 1996)
2The
Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce - URL: http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils |