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(a non-"prophet" organization)

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 Our Church was formed as a direct result of President George W. Bush's Executive Order for the "Establishment of White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives (OFBCI)", signed January 29, 2001.  (Otherwise known as "Faith-Based Funding".)  We are TOTALLY OPPOSED to this Initiative and plan to use this Church as a means to expose its flaws.  Bush's plan is unworkable and designed to promote his own religious agenda throughout schools and government.  There will be rampant discrimination as a result of theological beliefs.  This is a country of religious freedoms.  We think our Church promotes moral behavior, helps the poor, educates the community.  It is based in our own theological beliefs.  HOWEVER, we fully expect that we would be refused Faith-Based Funding because George W. Bush has "anointed" himself Messiah of America with the power to judge which religions are good and whose efforts will be funded.  He and the OFBCI will dictate which religions with will expand and thrive in America. The fact that this Church would not receive funding should clearly illustrate the problems with this Initiative and its extreme violations of the Separation of Church and State.

WELCOME TO OUR MINISTRY!
Here is our Mission!

We believe God's lesser known creatures have been un-righteously under represented in the theological realm.  Our oceans are full of beautiful creatures, coral reefs and plant life which have not been welcomed into the Lord's protective arms. 

The undersea world is our Sacred Place where we Worship.  And, the Most Sacred Place is the Caribbean.  We need federal funding because our Lord expects us to make the Annual Pilgrimage to the Holy Sea.  Upon arrival at this divine Mecca, we must be Born-Again by Baptism (at 80 feet deep, complete with two decompression stops).  Once we are born again, we may proceed to the Sermon on the Reef.  Here we receive inspiration from our Holy Lord "Mohammad Atta-pus" among the Firmament of the Coral.
 

As the Sacred Writings tell us, the Holy Lord "Mohammad Atta-pus" was crucified on the Cross by the Heathen Hungry Fishermen.  These evil men worshipped pagan idols and didn't believe in the Oct-inity of His Holiness"... plus, "Mohammad Atta-Pus" doesn't taste as good as tuna!

Do We Meet the Criteria of Bush's Initiative?
 

  • We do not discriminate by race, religion or creed.  All are welcome here in our ministry. 
 Yes!
  • We believe our teachings and pilgrimage foster a stronger family and help crime-ridden communities by getting delinquent youths out of the inner-city and under the seas.
 Yes!
  • We help conquer addiction to a materialistic society driven by consumerism and constant advertising bombardment by removing youths from this addictive environment.  We provide an environment conducive to learning and promote scientific education in Marine Biology.
 Yes!

Yes!
  • We intend to help overcome poverty through direct handouts of public funds to the poor for travel expenses, scuba equipment, lodging, food and Marine Biology books.  Their enhanced education will help them return to productive roles in society, given enough time and many pilgrimages to the Holy Sea!
 Yes!


Our Holy Lord "Mohammad Atta-pus"


Join The Ministry!

We currently have openings in the Church for the following.  We are an equal opportunity, "non-prophet" organization.

  • Assistant Pastor
  • Deacons
  • Financial Officer
  • Dive Masters
  • Marine Biologist
  • Choir
  • Boat Driver
  • Nitrox Tank Specialist
  • Dive Buddies
  • Sr. Baptizer



Please Help Us Do the Lord's Work!

Please help us get the funding we need from the White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives (OFBCI).  We must fund our missionary work (we prefer the term "fish-ionary") and Annual Pilgrimages to the Holy Sea.


Proceed to the Scriptures!
 

Thank You for Visiting the

First Evangelical Church of Later Day Aints for
Marine Invertebrates and Plants of the Living Reef